✿ Confession Of A Broken Heart ✿

1 year, 2 months...

I can forgive, but i can't forget what you've done.

Times goes by. And my scars seem not heal much. I used to be funny. I used to be happy. I used to be laughing and screaming happily. But i think i changed a lot.

Yes I'm hurt! I said i was ok before. But can't you see deep inside my heart its holes inside it. Trying to forget by someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never met. And it sucks! I want my life back.

Once you've been hurt once, you'll get scared to fall in love again. Because you'll think everyone you love afterwards will hurt you. And believe me. In the end, the people that you trust the most are the ones who are bound to break your heart. I don't trust any guy anymore. They are fucking liar when he said he love you.

And when i'm about to forget, there's a lot of people around me ask me to be patient. 
They say "sabar fatin. sabar. sabar. sabar."
But in the end, is it worth to sabar? Look at me. Is it worth? I am totally messy. I am a dead walking woman. Because of what? Because of you guys tell me to sabar all this while. People ask me why it is hard to me to trust him to give him time. I tell them why is it so hard to keep a promise??

Two hardest thing in my life : to let him go when all you really want is to stay and making him stay when you know he really want to leave. It takes a strong woman to drop everything, go through her phone, send one final text, delete his number, burn the letters and unwanted memories, and say i won't stress, sad, cry, or blame myself anymore and let it go. And i am not that strong.

I'm not going to stress over you anymore. It isn't worth it. I tried to working up on something. I tried really hard to make you come back to me. But you just ignored me. I'm not trying to say i don't want you. Because definitely, absolutely no doubt i do want you. But all i'm saying is i'm done chasing after you. 

I need to stop thinking about you. Because i know you're not thinking about me..


✿ untitled ✿

is it fair when i'm the only one wearing this ring while he doesn't care about me anymore...

is it worth for me to wait when i already know that deep inside his heart i am no longer exist.....

is it possible for him to look at me in the eyes with the same look when he sees me for the first time...


dear Allah.. please guide me.. please.... i am too tired right now... waiting for something that uncertain.. please guide me dear Allah... please...

✿ Sad Song ✿

Today I'm gonna write a sad song
I'm gonna make it really long
So that everyone can see
That I'm very unhappy


I wish I wasn't always wrong
I wish it wasn't always my fault
The finger that you're pointing has knocked me on my knees
And all you need to know is


I'm sorry, it's not like me
It's maturity that i'm lacking
So don't, don't let me go
Just let me know that growing up goes slow


I wonder what my mom and dad would say
If I told them that I cry each day
It's hard enough to live so far away


I wish I wasn't always cold
I wish I wasn't always alone
When the party is over how will I get home?
And all you need to know is



I'm sorry, it's not like me
It's maturity that i'm lacking
So don't, don't let me go
Just let me know that growing up goes slow


All the rules are meant to bend
And you swore you were my friend
Now I have to start all over again
Cause no one is ever going to take your place
And I'm scared i'll never save all the pieces of your love for me



I'm sorry, it's not like me
It's maturity that i'm lacking
So don't, don't let me go
Let me know that I can slip and fall
And you won't let me go


Just let me know
That growing up goes slow
And I'm so sorry
It's not like me
It's the maturity that I'm lacking
So don't, don;t let me go
Just let me know that growing up goes slow

✿ Am I Your Agry Wall?? ✿

kalau setakat call sebulan sekali semata-mata nak marah-marah, i prefer be ignored. Just.... ignored me..

jumpe, kene marah. kat telefon, kene marah. what am i? your angry wall maybe. rase macam dah jadi bodoh dah asik kene marah je.

spoil mood nak beli baju raya..

kadang-kadang terasa cemburu dengan kawan2 lain. can't we be just like a normal couple? sharing.... laughing... teasing....

sigh~


p/s : sabar...

✿ Menternak Lemak @ Restoran Segi Seri Steamboat ✿

Seperti yang telah diketahui umum, aku memang seorang yang kuat makan. Misi memelihara babat kali ini adalah bertempat di Restoran Segi Seri Steamboat, kat Seksyen 23 Shah Alam. Kalau korang nak tau, restoran ni dekat-dekat dengan Uptown n Giant tu ha. Kalau nak tau lebih lanjut, korang google sendirik yeh.

Misi penjelajahan adalah bersama-sama officemates. Bulan Puasa ni kan, rasa macam nak makan steamboat. So here we go.. But before that, mari kita bersama-sama berkenalan dengan penternak-penternak lemak yang berjaya..

Cik Model terserlah ke"chomelan" di depan mangkuk sendiri - Iera


Cik Demam yang bersemangat untuk menternak lemak - Atiqah


Cik Ajaib yang makan banyak tapi tak gemuk - Fiqah


Cik Jaga Badan telah give up awal di dalam misi kali ini - Aeah


Cik Penternak Paling Berjaya non stop eating!! - Is


Cik Bajet Nak Kurus tapi kecundang jua akhirnya - Fatin


Comel lagi ayu kan kan.. tapi korang sume jangan terpedaya dengan kemanjaan dan kelembutan wanita-wanita di atas ini.. korang patut tengok muka diorang ni ketika makan.. hahahha!! tapi, ini sume muka sebelum menternak.. u guys should see their face after makan okeh! hahaha..


seafood yang fresh!


ade 2 soup - tomyam n sup yang sedap!


snap-snap picture


makan selagi boleh!


see! tak sabar nak tunggu masak


korang boleh bajet sendiri brape banyak lemak yang telah diternak di perut masing-masing -__-''


Kesimpulannya, memang puas hati la makan sini.. seafood sume fresh.. RM 30 je per person not include 5% tax.. kire okla kan.. boleh laa.. i bagi 3.9/5 stars.. heheh..


p/s : sesetengah penternak mengadu sakit perut keesokan paginya.. berani ternak berani tanggung.. bwahaha!



✿ HIDING ✿

So this is how the story went
I met someone by accident
That blew me away
That blew me away

It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, you buried them away

And I wish I could lay beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go away one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I dropped you off at the train station
And put a kiss on top of your head
I watched you wave
I watched you wave
Then I went on home to my skyscrapers
Neon lights and waiting papers
That I call home
I call it home


And I wish I could lay beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go away one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I woke up feeling heavy hearted
I'm going back to where I started
The morning rain
The morning rain
And you know I wish that you were here
But that same old road that brought me here
Is calling me home
Is calling me home

And I wish I could lay beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
I'm sure you'll go away one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away..


p/s : yes i have been hiding something...

✿ tiada tajuk ✿

hmmmph....

sumtin happen last nite..it was soooo bad..i am such a bad person..but i just can't help it..it's uncontrolled n unexpected..i know wat i've done was wrong..

i am a woman..that need to be loved from sumone..need an attention from him..tapi kadang2 terasa diabaikan..tak diberi perhatian..can't spend 5 minutes with me yet still can have time having fun with other frens..

last nite..last nite was wonderful..tapi aku still rasa sangat bersalah n it's wrong..

i can't even think rite now..i am soo messed up..